Facebook is usually just a running feed of
pictures, talk about the weather, links to lists and
quizzes, and inspirational quotes. (Mine is,
anyway; maybe your friends are more exciting.)
But sometimes Facebook status updates are a
little more interesting. And by “interesting,” we
mean “criminal.” Here are 11.
1. Millions of people have posted photos of cars
on the world’s most popular social network, but
pictures of stolen cars (and in this case, a
lawnmower) are shared less frequently. Probably
because it’s not a good idea, as five men from
Loomis, California discovered earlier this week.
The pics posted by one man were identified as
stolen property by another resident of the town,
who then alerted authorities. When police arrived,
they found a chop shop operation and five new
tenants for the Placer County Jail.
2. When a judge orders a ban on social media for
jurors during a testy court case, maybe the best
idea is to obey that order. Maybe the worst idea
is to ignore it, rant on Facebook about how much
you hate jury duty , share details of the case with
your 500 closest friends and family, and then lie
about it under oath when the judge finds out. A
Boca Raton man has been charged with contempt
for doing exactly that, and faces up to six months
in jail if convicted.
3. As reality TV stars and criminals have taught
us time and again, some selfies aren’t for
sharing. A Florida man, confident in his ability to
sell drugs undetected, posted photos of himself in
his car holding a bag of marijuana. In the
background, a local police cruiser is clearly visible
at a stop in the next lane. Police took the next
photos of Port St. Lucie’s sneakiest drug dealer …
during the undercover sting that landed him in
jail. (That photo was posted to Facebook as
well.)
4. In movies where people intend to commit a
crime, there is usually a scene that involves
disabling any nearby cameras. But two brothers
from New Jersey did it backward: They filmed
themselves setting fire to an abandoned mobile
home, and then, as you might expect, they shared
the video to reap those sweet, sweet Likes.
Around six hours later, both men were arrested
and waiting for someone to post their $100,000
bond.
5. What does the law say about a motorist’s
ability to shoot video while driving and screaming
at people who ride bicycles? At least one part of
that—threatening cyclists with a motor vehicle—is
considered reckless endangerment . No charges
were filed for driving while filming in the case of
one Alabama man, whose Facebook videos were
spotted by a bicycle news writer and reported to
police. After his arrest, the offender posted a
much more thoughtful update: “I am truly sorry
for anyone I may have offended... and please
everyone share the road and be very aware of
bicycle riders everywhere.”
6. You may be wondering what to do should you
ever find yourself in possession of $5,000 worth
of stolen goods—namely, rare coins, vintage
comics, electronics, and a painting of Hank
Williams. The wrong answer is “Try to sell them
on Facebook.” A Bridgeport, Tennessee, man
chose to do so in May 2014 and found himself in
city jail. Some items, which he’d already sold, are
still missing, but the rest were returned to their
rightful owner before the man’s arrest.
7. Let’s say you’ve decided to break into
someone’s home. The people who live there own
a semiautomatic rifle, which you steal. One thing
you definitely shouldn’t do is take the gun home,
post a bunch of pics to Facebook of yourself
holding it, and then have a four-hour standoff
with the police when they come to arrest you.
Unfortunately, a man in Abilene, Texas, chose
option B, so authorities were able to identify him
easily from his many and varied gun-wielding
selfies. Even more unfortunately, he was a
convicted felon—so having a gun is illegal—and
now faces charges for theft on top of previously
unresolved parole violations.
8. In 2011 a woman in the UK was drawing
income support, housing benefit, and council tax
benefit, citing single parenthood and
unemployment. But then a city investigator
noticed that the woman’s Facebook page was
filled with photos of her family enjoying vacations
to Turkey and an elaborate wedding in Barbados
(to the husband she said she didn’t have). In
addition to her 120-day prison sentence, she was
ordered to pay back the £15,000 she’d swindled
from taxpayers.
9. A teen inspired by the film Shank , in which
gangs take over London, posted a series of
updates encouraging his Facebook friends to “kill
a million Fedz” and one taking requests for a
planned looting trip. “Rioting 2nyt anyone want
anything from Flannels?” earned him a sentence
of 33 months in jail.
10. Don’t tell the Internet you’ve kidnapped a
woman… especially if you haven’t. An Illinois man
did, and the cops received a tip from a concerned
acquaintance. No unwilling resident was found;
the updates were apparently “part of a creative
writing project,” but the heroin residue, bag of
marijuana and bathroom “covered in white
powder” were very real.
11. When a Lehigh Valley man discovered his wife
was cheating on him, he began posting all
manner of horrifying things to Facebook, which
were then reported to authorities and the FBI. He
threatened his estranged wife, a former employer
who fired him, an FBI agent, and most frightening
of all, a plan to attack schoolchildren: “Hell hath
no fury like a crazy man in a kindergarten class."
The man claimed the updates were rap lyrics he
wrote, but jurors were unconvinced
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