A family in Dubuque, Iowa was reportedly
investigated by police recently after a member of
the clan, whose name has been withheld in the
local news story, wrote a post on Facebook that
offered up their 4-year-old for adoption.
“I need some help,” began her note, posted over
the weekend to the private, 4,000-member DBQ
Mamas group in Dubuque and re-published
Monday.
“Does anyone know a family who would like
to adopt a 4 year old girl. My parents
adopted her but got new jobs and they have
no time for her. I have 3 kids of my own and
can not handle another. Serious inquiries
only.“
Dubuque Police Lt. Scott Baxter said his
department got “several calls” about the post and
dispatched an officer to investigate.
“We determined no criminal act had been
committed and there was not sufficient
probable cause to warrant an arrest or
charge,” Baxter said. “The welfare of the 4-
year-old was checked and determined
satisfactory. To my knowledge, the 4-year-
old remained with the adopted parents
referenced by the person who made the
post.”
Baxter adds that the police department notified
the Department of Human Services about the post
on Facebook. “Obviously the post was not well
thought out, as so many aren’t on social media,”
he says.
In a later post (removed by DBQ Mamas
administrators, as was the original note, after law
enforcement got involved), the woman appeared
to backpedal on her intent to re-home the
preschooler via social media.
"Let me rephrase,” she wrote,“I’m not selling a
kid, it was to help find adoption ideas. So calling
the police to receive suggestions was ridiculous.
She’s safe and fine. So thank you for your help."
But upset about the incident has yet to die down.
Hundreds of commenters forwarded and posted
notes in response to KWWL’s article about the
incident on Facebook, where remarks ran from
outrage to pity, for everyone involved.
“Children are not objects you get then discard
when you just don’t have the time,” fumed
one commenter.
“YOU BE A RESPONSIBLE ADULT AND MAKE
TIME.” Another commenter joined others
urging critics to reserve their judgment.
“While it’s extremely sad that someone is
giving up a child maybe they are trying to
give the child a better life, maybe that’s the
absolute best thing that they can do.”
It’s not clear in this case whether or not re-
homing, the process of moving an adopted child
to another home, was at play. And it is
something that’s “not common, thank goodness,”
Adam Pertman, President of the National Center
on Adoption and Permanency said.
“But it does happen, and it usually happens
because a parent doesn’t know what else to
do. It’s not jettisoning a kid because they
didn’t do their homework. It’s that something
awful is happening and the parents don’t
know where to turn. Typically it’s after
they’ve tried everything and just want to help
the child get parented properly.”
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