WAEC Seized My English Result Twice - Patrick Obahiagbon
Honourable Patrick Obahiagbon on an interview
with Punch Newspaper..
Punch - Did you write exams in school in these big
words?
Hourable- I used such words very-very freely in my
exams both at the
secondary school and in my university and little
wonder I had
the misfortune of my English results being seized
intermittently in my O' Levels.
WAEC released my results for the other subjects and
withheld my English result. This happened for
about three years. Twice, I passed the University
Matriculation Examination but I
could not proceed to the University because of my
English results that...
were not released. At
the end of the day, it was released after the third
attempt.
Punch- Why do you always use 'big grammar'?
Honourable- I am not really consensus ad idem with
those who opine that
my idiolect is advertently obfuscative. No no no, it's
just that I am in my elements when
the colloquy has to do with the pax nigeriana of our
dreams and one necessarily needs to fulminate
against the alcibiadian modus vivendi of our
prebendal political class.
Punch- How do you talk to your wife, children and
even your friends?
Honourable- I relate with my family and friends very
warmly and in an
atmosphere of camaraderie, stripped of my
confutational habiliment and gladiatorial
homilies. I am a very peaceful, calm, level-headed
and celestially attuned soul personality.
Punch- Is this the way you proposed to your wife,
speaking high tech grammar?
Honourable- Of course, the business of the day
when I interfaced with my
wife on matters of the heart had to be in plain
Caeser's language
and you can decipher why that had to be so. The
matter in view did not permit itself of sphinxian
conundrum.
Punch- Do you know that many people don't take
you too seriously when
you talk because they think you are not
communicating?
Honourable -Why will I be perturbed from
ensconcing myself in the
palatable arms of Morpheus because people have
deprived themselves of the cultivation of
the regime of the mental magnitude? I read all the
farrago of baloneys and vacuous bunkum
from pepper soup objurgators. The spirit of
animadversion remains their fundamental
human right. It also remains an indubitable fact that I
get millions and millions of requests
daily from people all over the world requesting for
my verbal mentorship which positive
cosmopolitan reactions have assisted my equipoise
and righteous sense of
pachydermatous garb. I cannot put my nose to the
grindstone daily and expect to be
understood by those luxuriating in a modus vivendi,
verging on pepper souping, goat heading,
suyaing, big stouting and isiewulising. Has a
philosophical wag not once pontificated that
things of the spirit are spiritually discerned and that
it takes the deep to call the deep? We will speak
more on this matter of critiques and chichi dodo
another day.
Punch -Why do you pull your trousers up beyond
the waist?
Honourable -Hahahaha….That trousers style is called
Yohji Yamamoto. It was my own audacious statement
to remonstrate against the pervasive tendency of
Nigerians
especially our youths that took to the practice of
putting on trousers exposing their lower
anatomical contours and I will do it over and over
again
.
Culled from saturday punch
with Punch Newspaper..
Punch - Did you write exams in school in these big
words?
Hourable- I used such words very-very freely in my
exams both at the
secondary school and in my university and little
wonder I had
the misfortune of my English results being seized
intermittently in my O' Levels.
WAEC released my results for the other subjects and
withheld my English result. This happened for
about three years. Twice, I passed the University
Matriculation Examination but I
could not proceed to the University because of my
English results that...
were not released. At
the end of the day, it was released after the third
attempt.
Punch- Why do you always use 'big grammar'?
Honourable- I am not really consensus ad idem with
those who opine that
my idiolect is advertently obfuscative. No no no, it's
just that I am in my elements when
the colloquy has to do with the pax nigeriana of our
dreams and one necessarily needs to fulminate
against the alcibiadian modus vivendi of our
prebendal political class.
Punch- How do you talk to your wife, children and
even your friends?
Honourable- I relate with my family and friends very
warmly and in an
atmosphere of camaraderie, stripped of my
confutational habiliment and gladiatorial
homilies. I am a very peaceful, calm, level-headed
and celestially attuned soul personality.
Punch- Is this the way you proposed to your wife,
speaking high tech grammar?
Honourable- Of course, the business of the day
when I interfaced with my
wife on matters of the heart had to be in plain
Caeser's language
and you can decipher why that had to be so. The
matter in view did not permit itself of sphinxian
conundrum.
Punch- Do you know that many people don't take
you too seriously when
you talk because they think you are not
communicating?
Honourable -Why will I be perturbed from
ensconcing myself in the
palatable arms of Morpheus because people have
deprived themselves of the cultivation of
the regime of the mental magnitude? I read all the
farrago of baloneys and vacuous bunkum
from pepper soup objurgators. The spirit of
animadversion remains their fundamental
human right. It also remains an indubitable fact that I
get millions and millions of requests
daily from people all over the world requesting for
my verbal mentorship which positive
cosmopolitan reactions have assisted my equipoise
and righteous sense of
pachydermatous garb. I cannot put my nose to the
grindstone daily and expect to be
understood by those luxuriating in a modus vivendi,
verging on pepper souping, goat heading,
suyaing, big stouting and isiewulising. Has a
philosophical wag not once pontificated that
things of the spirit are spiritually discerned and that
it takes the deep to call the deep? We will speak
more on this matter of critiques and chichi dodo
another day.
Punch -Why do you pull your trousers up beyond
the waist?
Honourable -Hahahaha….That trousers style is called
Yohji Yamamoto. It was my own audacious statement
to remonstrate against the pervasive tendency of
Nigerians
especially our youths that took to the practice of
putting on trousers exposing their lower
anatomical contours and I will do it over and over
again
.
Culled from saturday punch
No comments:
Post a Comment